I was watching a movie yesterday with mom. It was called Soldier Love Story. In the story, there is a newly divorced single mother with a little boy about ten years old. The boy's father was never there and broke all of his promises and the boy was just crushed. It broke my heart to watch that little boy when his father didn't show up and all I kept thinking about was how am I going to be able to watch my own son go through that when his father doesn't show up?

I just had to be honest with Josh about what I was feeling. So I told him that sometimes I don't know if I want us to work (like I wrote in the previous blog) and he said he wanted to come over and talk. He was on his way back from work out of town and was a little over an hour away, so I sat down and talked to my mom about everything. Talking to her really opened my eyes to a lot of things and I realized that if I give up on us now, I will wonder for the rest of my life if this was the one time that things would have worked out.

When Josh got here, we sat down and talked. I told him that I didn't want to give up but things couldn't be like they used to be. I can't live like that anymore. I won't go into all the details about everything, but Gabriel and I are moving back home on Friday so that Josh and I can start working on things to save our marriage. I don't know what is going to happen but I have to try.