Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Ah, the joys of marriage...

I know I am not the only woman in the world that feels like her husband doesn't listen to a word she says, so everyone should be able to relate to this blog entry.

I also know that every marriage has its problems, but I am just going to rant and rave about some things and you can read them or not.

Josh always says we need to talk more. He just wants us to talk about anything and everything. This should be a good thing, right? A step in the right direction...but nothing is ever that easy. Here lately, we will be talking about whatever comes to mind and that will remind me of something else...so, naturally, I will tell him about it. He shuts off. Like someone flicks off a light switch. He won't answer me, he starts doing something else, completely ignoring me. I stop talking, sometimes not even finishing what I was saying, and there is a long awkward silence (unless Gabriel is around, in which case, we usually get distracted by him).

But, the first time it happened, it completely threw me off. I asked, "Honey, did you hear me?" and his reply was, "Uh huh." without even looking at me. It made me mad. I thought maybe he just got distracted by something else...but the more he does it, the madder I get. I know, that isn't the right thing to do, but there isn't a whole lot else I can do. It is so frustrating. It happens at least once a night. I have just cut down on what I tell him so that he can't blow me off as many times.

Now, I know he is tired. He has been working basically non stop for a while now. But when I am tired and someone says something to me that I don't hear, I usually say, "I'm sorry, I zoned out, what did you say?" and then I really try to pay attention to what they are telling me. I don't think he is like this because he is just tired. It is like he just could really care less about what I am telling him.

How would you guys react to this? What should I do the next time this happens? Am I completely overreacting about this?? Help!

1 comment:

  1. I have a very not perfect marriage lol, I will say that straight out (oh Hi, I am Lauren btw! nice to meet you!). But the one thing I was told by an older woman at my church, that changed my view of my husband forever: "men are waffles". When she explained further, I realized how completely true it is.

    If you cut a mans head open horizontally, and looked down at the half of the brain left in there, it would be shaped like a waffle. There would be little boxes and each one completely separated from the other with walls. In each little box there is a subject, and then there are actually many boxes that have absolutely nothing in them. So when you are talking about a subject with them, they are only in that one box. That box, and that box only. They cannot tie one box to another box, each box is its own subject and own conversation.
    We women are spaghetti. Look at a plate of spaghetti, every noodle intertwines and twists into the other noodles. Each noodle on our plate is a subject, but that subject also mixes and is involved and touching hundreds of other subjects. We can slide along our noodles and just easily bump and move into other subjects!

    I know that little ditty wont solve a marriage, but it really did help me with my patience with my husband and how I talked to him. I have cut back a lot on my frustration with him for not being able to keep up or follow along when I am talking with him.

    God bless you and your marriage! And don't forget that marriage needs prayer more than anything else in the world! I know mine sure does!!!!!