Thursday, June 10, 2010

Like in the movies...

Well, I don't really want to go into a lot of detail on my marital problems right now because, let's face it, I know you guys don't care, but I do want to vent a little bit.

I know that all married couples have problems and that the first few years of marriage are the hardest, and I also know that after being married for a long time, the excitement dies down and you get so used to each other that a lot of things change. I get that. But, come on! Josh and I have only been married for a little less than three years and it is already so stale and...well, boring. I feel like we have been married for twenty years.

I should still get butterflies in my stomach whenever he walks into the room. My heart should still melt every time he smiles at be honest, he should still smile at me. It is like there is just no love left...or maybe it was never there to begin with.

Now, as for the title, 'like in the movies...', I know that they are movies and they aren't real. Blah blah blah. I understand that, but if people in real life loved like people do in the movies...*sigh* I'm not asking for a fairy tale ending, but I would for it to be a lot happier than it is now.

The men in the movies and love songs are so romantic. They would do anything for their wife/girlfriend/love interest. I feel like Josh could just care less most of the time. I always pictured myself with a military man because of their morals...and of course men in uniform are sexy! Josh isn't a romantic at heart and I definitely am. I know we rushed into things and that really screwed everything up, but will things always be like this? So stale and boring? So dull and drab and...mediocre?

I feel like I deserve better. I don't mean this to sound snooty or anything, but I deserve the man of my dreams. All women deserve the man of their dreams. Now, of course, the men in our dreams are perfect and no man will ever be perfect (no matter how much they think they are), but I'm just not sure the life I am living now will ever be the dream in my head.


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